Bomb in My Belly

Seriously, life is kind of silly and random sometimes.

In honor of the now-warm weather, I declare this the long weekend.

The instructor teaching the class I am currently enrolled in looks kind of like my mom, which means (I guess) that she looks kind of like me. It puts me in a bit of a reverie sometimes -- I look at her and imagine her nose and cheeks and forehead are somehow connected to me genetically. She was diagnosed with breast cancer a few years ago and is (I assume) currently cancer-free.

Once I saw a fill-in oncologist when my regular oncologist was on vacation. He was from South Africa and had only ever treated one other patient with ovarian cancer as young as I was myself. He told me it was eerie, we looked so much alike.

The world is a funny place sometimes.

Looking for a new roommate can be fun if you think of yourself as a panel of judges rating auditions.

Half past noon, and i"m waiting for my roommate to wake so we can go for brunch.

Things to do this weekend:

• transcribe 30 minutes of interview and write a 500-word article based on said interview (cinch-y, but tedious)
• put away clean laundry
• find a book to read -- I've been enjoying French authors (in translation, my reading comprehension allows me to muddle through newspapers, not novels) and short novels (they match my short attention span)
• respond to emails
• listen to Fleetwood Mac, repeatedly

Last night a girl at the bar squatted over the toilet, missed the bowl entirely, and peed on the floor. I was in the stall beside and pee ricocheted off the floor and onto my foot.

Scrambled eggs and coffee sound like heaven right now.

Long weekend begins now.

Cue vodka sodas, dancing, gardening, homework, and barbeques.

Happy Victoria Day.

about time

I am still alive and quite healthy.

Mom is doing well (despite rather uncomfortable lymphodema) and had her double mastectomy and reconstruction las fall.

I was recently in New York where I met the lovely Jen.

Toronto is warm and sunny today, and I'll be putting more vegetables in my garden this weekend.

I'm not sure how to update this blog. The feelings I have about this whole experience now are in some ways more complicated than they were in the past when I was just so unhappy and angry about the whole thing. The grief is mostly gone, but the anger is still around and possibly worse then it was before. I find anger more personal and harder to write about than grief.

I've also never really gotten over the loss of anonymity on this blog. I'll try to work around it somehow.